If not now, then when?

This Man...

This man is divine, marvelous, and loved.
He stands behind me, never in front.
He's the chef, plumber, painter, and mechanic.
He's the driver, gets the gas, and warms up the car.
He's the dad, best friend, and mentor.
He's the leader, professional, and inspiration.
He's the giver, the gifted, and the selfless being.
He's the music, the encyclopedia, and the art.
He's the snow, the sun, the river, the rock.
He's the noise, the silence, the laughter, the party.
This man is divine, marvelous, and loved.

A FULL MOON, WITH A LITTLE LUCK ON OUR SIDE

People, places, and things. People: inspirational masses of energy here to teach us. Places: creative endevours encouraging mindful acts of placement. Things: both priceless and unvaluable trinkets of the illusional physical world. Our lives are made up of nouns. Everyday we get the fascinating chance to make choices that will guide us to our prophetic declaration of what must be. Fate. Our choices earn us the right to be ourselves. However, the people, places, and things we choose to have in our life are not always by choice alone. They choose us. Pre-determined in a non-determined manner. By having the thoughts we breathe, speaking the words we think, and giving the gifts we cherish, things seem to always work out ironically and completely perfect. Beginning a new decade, 2010 seems to be an iconical mark in my diary. The last decade was a significant time to grow. An elaborate setting of people, places, and things, creating the lessons that I might now be able to teach. A decade illustrating my weaknesses and writing my strengths. With these now at my attention, my hope is to bring harmony to my life from every angle. I feel love and peace around me, now I challange myself to reciprocate it on a new scale. This is the present, and YOU are in my life to teach me crazy amazing things. I am impressed with the perplexing way the Universe works. With a little integrity, love, and trust, the Universe is precisely on our side. Sit back and soak up the certainty that all you have to do is be yourself, and you shall recieve positively what was meant to be.

My Fondness Of The Sprit: Dedicated to Lindsey

The "Anatomy of the Spirit" is a book beautifully written by Carolyn Myss PH.D. It creatively entails information about the meticulous layout of all your bodies energy circuits woven together with the same thread to create your seven chakras. Naturally, we are all biologically designed on some parallel level, with each charge of energy in our lives (both positive and negative) ultimately effecting our health's destiny. In other words, if you choose to let your mind go to this place, we are in more ways than you may realize, in complete power of our overall well being. Digging deep into, and learning about your chakras can be a gift of alternative medicine, one that I believe is extremely effective and highly fascinating. When you stop to think about what our bodies are scientifically made out of: matter, cells, tissue, atoms, etc., it's no wonder that our actual everyday life experiences and emotions that bring positive and negative charges into our bodies is truly the driving force. The good old saying "it's all in your head", is both annoying when we are at our most vulnerable and desperate stages, and slightly, if not mostly, true. The beauty of becoming aware of your seven chakras, is the beauty of becoming more 'aware'. Basically, our chakras hold a regulated balance of all that is good in life. When negative energy comes in contact with our perfect scale, our whole body can be thrown into a state of panic. And believe me, my body knows panic. I've never felt more un-alligned in my life at times. Moments of physical and mental dispair. They always compliment each other brilliantly, in the most witty format. Example: the week after my husband, son, and I moved into a new house, I was also taking on the demands of my small business, running around like a chicken without a head. My left ankle that had re-constructive surgery over 9 years ago randomly starts hurting with sharp, unmanageable pain. I'm limping like a gimp once again. The energy anatomy of the seven chakras diagnosis states this: my first chakra is directly related to my legs and bones. It's emotional issues involve the ability to "feel at home" and the left side of your body is entirely associated with the female trait of nuturing and domestic responsibility. Conclusion and remedy is this: I have just moved to unfamiliar surroundings, while taking on too many demands that leave me absent in the role taking care of my home and family. My first chakra is way out of wack, and eventually has sent my leg into a panicked state. Is this just too wacky and spiritually blown out of proportion, or extremely coincidental and in need of a serious look deep within? I strongly believe in this 'new to me' form of energy medicine. How could I not? A couple weeks after my pain, it slowly subsided as I adjusted to my new change, and made more time to contribute to my feminine side of nuturing my beautiful family. Wow. For me, it's been quite a gift to have formed a new outlook on life that deeper defines the need to have personal power. Personal power over ones mind, body, heart, and soul. We all know the need to have some sort of power in our lives, but the right power is ultimately the healthiest.

vicariously through him

The subject matter is taekwondo. The best form of discipline for any student, but especially my student. An art that teaches the respectful use of the bodies strongest muscle, the brain. A class that sends my son's focus into new profound levels of intensity. A reminder to live life like a lion, be strong like a tree, and to never melt like a candle. The kick is round, side, and front. The punch is followed by a kiyah, and the stance is horse or jumbi. But today, the student's eyes wonder, as a new boy enters the room. The new kid is distracting, and not at all interested in respecting the teacher or it's brilliant students. He is running around the room and rolling all over the floor, telling the teacher "No", and "I'm tired". I am watching this little piece of distruction make havoc of this usually sharply orchestrated class, trying not to let the others see steam rising out of my head. He is disrupting the vibe of that which is taekwondo, nonetheless waisting my money as the teacher now focuses all of his energy on the rebel in the corner. Finally, it is my favorite part of class, judo sweep tournament has begun. My son is paired with four different students, gloriously defeating them all one by one. As each student drops to the mat with the sweep of my son's leg, they are picked back up by his helping hand to make sure that they are okay. The new kid now decides he would like a turn at this, as if he is at pre-school accepting a paint brush to now paint a picture. He foolishly wiggles over to my son, rolling his eyes with his tongue out, giggling like a joke. I'm not sure what's about to happen, but I know deep down inside what I would like the outcome to be. It is time for this kid to rule out child's play and practice respect. Time for him to get judo sweeped like lint on the floor and open his eyes to wax on, wax off. Instructor says, "Judo sweep, GO". And BAM. My son wraps his leg under his and sends the kids' body 3 feet into the air with a THUD for a landing. A quiet before the storm fills the air. I look far far away from the mother of this child. I am stoked my son is such a stud, with a kind heart. With no intentions of malicious defeat, my son is not boastful or proud. Just playing his role as a resilient student. Perhaps tomorrow the new kid will show up to class walking taller, showing respect to both teacher and student, interested in a new way of learning. Or perhaps not, and I will have to cruelly think of other ways he can be put into his place. (Ouch. Did I just make that thought public?)

knot comes loose

"Can't you see that I'm smiling?
Can't you see there's a part of me that 's brand new?
Used to be, was a part of me felt like hiding
but now it comes through.

Deep in my heart, that's where the knot comes loose.
Deep in my heart, I will remember you.

All my lovely life I've been waiting,
hot heels aniticipating.
Another love I found, not to let it down."

-Jim James

this blue house

I like the smell of my new town when I go out for a walk. Not too far up the road, past the first farm, sits fields of country calmly tucked away in the views of dusted mountains. The scents are different now, it's a whiff that brings me back to my childhood. From a small handful of visits to the stock show and to the barn where my mom took care of her cousins horses when I was a kid, I feel settled in the hearty smell of hay and horse droppings that shelter the meadows tucked behind old gates. On a cold, cloudy, and drizzling day, you can inhale the smell of bathed, oraganic, Earth as it steams off of the mud. There's something natural about being here. I am growing fond of this new place called home that gives me constant vibes of down to earth wholesomeness. Everyone deserves a piece of that...